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Advice for gay men dating online

10 Dating Tips For Gay Men (That, Really, EVERYONE Should Follow),Related Stories From YourTango:

There are a lot of great dating sites out there for gay men, and, in our expert opinion, Match really is the best one, even if it’s not strictly a gay dating site. With more than 1 million So, instead of fighting over the newest man meat on Grindr, I recommend these practical tips for gay men: 1. Get in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. Either play the 5 Online Safety Tips for Gay Men 1. Let your instinct be your guide.. Before the two of you decide to meet in person for the first time, make sure you 2. Don’t give out personal Don’t compare yourself. This advice is especially pertinent to gay men as gay men are often reflected in media as being this incredibly fit man with eight pack abs and a smile that Here are my top four dating tips for mature men to have the best success in dating. 1. Date Someone With a Similar Mental Age. Over the span of eight years working in the dating ... read more

Who's wrong? You are. He is. It all depends. For some people in committed relationships, apps like Grindr or -- shameless plug alert! For others it indicates that the unwritten or explicit rules of their relationship need to be revisited.

Secrets can damage relationships just as profoundly as actions. I don't know why you felt the need to keep the app hidden, but my guess is that it's because you knew he wouldn't approve. Forget about questioning who's right and who's wrong in this situation. Instead, sit down with your man and have an authentic tête-à-tête about the real reason you're sexting total strangers. Maybe you feel that your love life has gotten a little stale after three years together, and it makes you feel desirable again.

Maybe you're a hopeless flirt. Maybe you really are just looking for friends. Whatever the reasons are, be open and honest about them, and work toward building his trust back. If he asks you to get off Grindr altogether, decide whether that's something you're willing to give up in order to keep him. Then again, maybe he's upset because you didn't invite him to the party.

Offer to help him create his own profile so that you can send your dirty dick pics to him rather than to that headless torso 1, feet away. Better yet, create a profile for the both of you together. You know what they say: Two's a party, and three's just a hell of a lot more fun. I'm in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend of four years. A few weeks ago, I hooked up with one of his good friends, and now we're kind of secretly seeing each other.

I know I need to break up with my boyfriend, but do I have to tell him I'm banging his buddy? It's not the reason that I'm breaking up with him. We've been having problems for a long time. I'd still like to be friends with him, but I know that'll be impossible if he finds out about this. Let me get this straight. You don't want to tell your boyfriend that you're sleeping with one of his friends, to protect his feelings?

I have this magic bell next to my desk, and it rings whenever there is a too much bullshit in the room, and right now it's ringing so loudly that I can barely hear myself. It seems to me that if you were that concerned about your boyfriend's feelings, you'd feel a little guiltier about following your heart or rather your hard-on.

It's pretty obvious that the reason you don't want to tell your boyfriend that you're sleeping with his best friend is that 1 you know there isn't a chance in hell that he'll want to remain friends with you after he finds out, and 2 you know you're kind of a jerk-off for doing it. But you're even more of a jerk-off if you're not going to be honest with him.

Trust me: One way or another, he's going to find out about what's been going on behind his back. The best you can do is own up to your actions, be honest with him and salvage what you can of the relationship.

Sure, you might be losing a boyfriend, but at least you'll be gaining an ounce of integrity. Have a question for me?

Send it to AskMrCarl misterapp. Skip to Main Content ×. Main Menu U. News U. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Voices Queer Voices Women's Voices Black Voices Latino Voices Asian Voices. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. From Our Partners The State of Abortion Epic Entertainment Heart Smart. International Australia Brazil Canada España France Ελλάδα Greece India Italia 日本 Japan 한국 Korea Québec U.

Follow Us. Dear MISTER CARL, My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for three years. Dear MISTER CARL, I'm in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend of four years. Bud Fucker, 32, Staten Island. Next time: "Do I have to tell every guy I sleep with I'm HIV-positive? Go To Homepage. What's sex got to do with it? Well, it depends on your position — no pun intended.

Dating from the perspective of "it's all about sex" can pay off if that's how you truly feel. Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. Regardless of your perspective, being honest with yourself all along is my point. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. Ask yourself, "So what? Do you always say: "Gay dating is such a chore," or, "Gay men just want sex," or "Every gay guy I meet only wants to talk about themselves?

For example, "Gay dating is such a chore. Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely or at least that's what the replay of the tape your listening to is saying.

So change the tape! Be a fearless, foolish and fun-loving. Crazy as it sounds, one of these three "f-words" could lead you to Mr. First, be fearless in your gay dating pursuits. After all, if he thinks you're afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out! If you can't win them by being fearless, then be a little foolish, and let your heart lead you.

Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love. Finally, let the fun-loving gay dater in you out to play. What's the worst that can happen? Stop comparing. Check out the merchandise, evaluate the functionality, weigh the benefits, but for crying out loud, stop comparing yourself to everyone around you!

The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face. Just because "Bryce" dates like a mad man doesn't mean he's more datable than you. Find your stride, your way, your place and snuggle in.

That cozy warm space of dating your way will find you. Trust yourself. You've heard it before: Trust is the basis of everything. But honey, practice makes perfect, and it starts with you. As gay men, one of the hardest obstacles we face is trusting that we're okay because we're gay. The more you dial in, trust yourself and stop second-guessing, the more you'll rely on your own instincts and create the dating situations that are right for you.

But baby, you gotta trust yourself because their ain't no one else that's gonna do it for ya. Whether it's a first date, casual dating or dating to mate , gay guys face the same challenges as everyone else. The only difference is they do it with class, sass and still get a piece of ass when it's done right! Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach, is a Certified Professional Coach and an expert featured on The Ricki Lake Show and on numerous other radio shows, in print and on national blogs.

Rick also hosted his own radio show, The Coming Out Lounge. Sign in.

Welcome to "Ask MISTER CARL. com and a relationship expert on The Morning Jolt on OutQ on Sirius XM Radio. In this new blog series I offer strategies and advice for anyone navigating the marvelous, messy and often fucked-up dilemmas we face in our quests for intimacy, both online and off. My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for three years. Recently, I downloaded Grindr and created a profile.

I've chatted and exchanged pics with guys but have never hooked up with anyone. My profile says "partnered" and I specifically say I'm just looking for friends. Last week, my boyfriend went snooping on my phone, even though it was well hidden, and read some of my conversations. Now he's pissed and says being on Grindr is "cheating. Who's right, and who's wrong? Who's right? Who's wrong? You are.

He is. It all depends. For some people in committed relationships, apps like Grindr or -- shameless plug alert! For others it indicates that the unwritten or explicit rules of their relationship need to be revisited. Secrets can damage relationships just as profoundly as actions. I don't know why you felt the need to keep the app hidden, but my guess is that it's because you knew he wouldn't approve.

Forget about questioning who's right and who's wrong in this situation. Instead, sit down with your man and have an authentic tête-à-tête about the real reason you're sexting total strangers. Maybe you feel that your love life has gotten a little stale after three years together, and it makes you feel desirable again.

Maybe you're a hopeless flirt. Maybe you really are just looking for friends. Whatever the reasons are, be open and honest about them, and work toward building his trust back. If he asks you to get off Grindr altogether, decide whether that's something you're willing to give up in order to keep him.

Then again, maybe he's upset because you didn't invite him to the party. Offer to help him create his own profile so that you can send your dirty dick pics to him rather than to that headless torso 1, feet away.

Better yet, create a profile for the both of you together. You know what they say: Two's a party, and three's just a hell of a lot more fun. I'm in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend of four years. A few weeks ago, I hooked up with one of his good friends, and now we're kind of secretly seeing each other.

I know I need to break up with my boyfriend, but do I have to tell him I'm banging his buddy? It's not the reason that I'm breaking up with him. We've been having problems for a long time. I'd still like to be friends with him, but I know that'll be impossible if he finds out about this. Let me get this straight. You don't want to tell your boyfriend that you're sleeping with one of his friends, to protect his feelings? I have this magic bell next to my desk, and it rings whenever there is a too much bullshit in the room, and right now it's ringing so loudly that I can barely hear myself.

It seems to me that if you were that concerned about your boyfriend's feelings, you'd feel a little guiltier about following your heart or rather your hard-on. It's pretty obvious that the reason you don't want to tell your boyfriend that you're sleeping with his best friend is that 1 you know there isn't a chance in hell that he'll want to remain friends with you after he finds out, and 2 you know you're kind of a jerk-off for doing it.

But you're even more of a jerk-off if you're not going to be honest with him. Trust me: One way or another, he's going to find out about what's been going on behind his back. The best you can do is own up to your actions, be honest with him and salvage what you can of the relationship. Sure, you might be losing a boyfriend, but at least you'll be gaining an ounce of integrity. Have a question for me? Send it to AskMrCarl misterapp. Skip to Main Content ×. Main Menu U. News U.

News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Voices Queer Voices Women's Voices Black Voices Latino Voices Asian Voices. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes.

From Our Partners The State of Abortion Epic Entertainment Heart Smart. International Australia Brazil Canada España France Ελλάδα Greece India Italia 日本 Japan 한국 Korea Québec U. Follow Us. Dear MISTER CARL, My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for three years. Dear MISTER CARL, I'm in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend of four years. Bud Fucker, 32, Staten Island. Next time: "Do I have to tell every guy I sleep with I'm HIV-positive? Go To Homepage.

Carl Sandler, Contributor. Suggest a correction. Popular in the Community. What's Hot. Science's Weirdest Discoveries Celebrated At Ig Nobel Awards.

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Ask MISTER CARL: The Gay Advice Column That Always Gives It to You Straight,

Here are my top four dating tips for mature men to have the best success in dating. 1. Date Someone With a Similar Mental Age. Over the span of eight years working in the dating Don’t compare yourself. This advice is especially pertinent to gay men as gay men are often reflected in media as being this incredibly fit man with eight pack abs and a smile that Welcome to "Ask MISTER CARL." I'm Carl Sandler, the founder of the gay dating app MISTER and blogger.com and a relationship expert onThe Morning Jolt on OutQ on Sirius XM Well, right now, Hinge is the best dating site. It seems to fit my personality, or the personalities I find online. I like that the sign-up process takes 10 minutes, and that I can keep an eye on According to a blogger.com survey, about 56% of LGBTQ singles have dated someone they met online. The following dating sites offer men-seeking-men options to help the average So, instead of fighting over the newest man meat on Grindr, I recommend these practical tips for gay men: 1. Get in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. Either play the ... read more

Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. Go To Homepage. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. You are. Being Gay Made Me An Unfit Parent. Special Projects Highline.

Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach, is a Certified Professional Coach and an expert featured on The Ricki Lake Show and on numerous other radio shows, in print and on national blogs. Cassandra Rose. I'm in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend of four years. If he asks you to get off Grindr altogether, decide whether that's something you're willing to give up in order to keep him. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting advice for gay men dating online a positive way.

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